(Written 3 or 4 days ago)
He hasn't laid a hand on me for any reason whatsoever since Sunday. For one thing, he has to work very long days this week. He has a rather insistent boss. He also has a very wonderful boss so for this one week out of the year we wouldn't dream of complaining.
As a result, he's been leaving early. He was gone by 6:45 this morning and I don't know when I'll see him but I know that when I do he'll want to first shower, second eat and third sleep. There will be no spankings or other things.
That's okay though because to be honest, it's that wonderful time of the month and I'm just NOT in the mood at all. So actually I'm grateful that he's too worn out this week because it's always been at times like this when he backs off just cuz I'm not in the mood and then never seems to start back up until I can't stand it any more. I think in the past he's thought it was a temporary one time game I was playing. And he didn't seem to notice that I wanted to play over and over. I think though, he's finally starting to see that really, it's not a game at all.
Even I wondered myself how I could come in and out of the mood as I do. Ahh... hormones. That's gotta be it. So do I sit back and wait for the next wave of them to hit? That could take months. That's not what I want. I'm in this for keeps. For real.
He and I have talked. He's well aware that I want the spankings that I don't want and that I am committed to submit to them. He tells me he knows and he's waiting. I want this more than anything. I want this submission. I want the spankings. I want the pain, damn it.
I want his dominance.
And I will submit.
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Picture from http://www.bleedingorchidstudio.com/
Careful, you are hinting at my greatest fear. That the feeling will ebb away, I’ll shut back down and Nick won’t push it. We (you and I) are not going to let this happen. This is our lifestyle now and we are not going to give up and we will not let our friends give up either! You know my fondness for emails. Write Adam, tell him even though you are proud of him, you have missed him and as soon as he get one good day of rest you will do __________ to him and you want _________ from him.
ReplyDeleteI know Nick and I are riding the crest of our very first wave and I know even the best waves ends. Working again will cause a change but I am determined to keep reading and writing in blog land because I know this will help sustain us until we catch that next wave.
Elis
Elis, you hit on it exactly how it is for me too... it's like riding a wave and it does end but another wave comes along. This is what I want/need Adam to see. I think he's seeing it though but I know neither of us saw it in the past.
ReplyDeleteeva,
ReplyDeletei was blog surfing & found your blog.
i go through a horrible time during that wonderful time of the month where i feel complete distance from storm. i'm not in the mood, i feel alone, and i'm not being submissive....
i realized today that i never remember how or when it works it's self out, it just always does.
i like your site & i'll have to come back.
Wind Walker~ Welcome! I fully understand what you're saying. My situation (from nearly a week ago) has already worked itself out. In other words, last night was awesome hehehe.
ReplyDeleteAgain, welcome. And I'll be checking your site out today sometime.
Eva