Is This What You Would Call a Rant?

By nature I am a home body.

It takes a lot to get me out of the house unless it's for something mandatory such as... oh, I dunno... my job. I also admit that once out of the house, if you get me that far, I am fine and usually have a good time. Typically though I'm content to stay home, play on the computer, run the vacuum, play with the animals, play with Adam, etc.

I didn't know it meant that much to me.

We married off a child a month or so ago. One down. More to go. Long before that Adam talked of getting away at the end of summer. He knew he'd be needing a break from his job and we both could use time away. Besides, we hadn't been on a road trip - just the two of us - since our honeymoon.

So the plans were made. We would leave in the middle of the week and return on the same day the following week. Part of the time we'd be visiting our daughter who lives a sun up to sundown drive away... if you're traveling in the summer. If you travel in the winter you'll leave in the dark, arrive in the dark.

Seeing as we're old though and in no hurry we plan to split the drive into two days. And then when we leave our daughter's we have reservations for a couple nights at a romantic little getaway in the southern part of our own state.

The day after we return home, I return to work. Goodie.

The plans have been made. Adam has talked of little else all summer. He says things such as "I can't wait to just get in the car with you and GO!" I like being in the car with him too so as much as my homebody instinct says "I don't wanna go" I know that I will have a blast on the road all alone with my husband. Besides, that romantic getaway place? Two nights.. two nights in celebration of a BIG anniversary. Twenty five years. That's a major milestone which deserves much much more but who says the celebrating will end with the trip?

So last night he gets a call from one of his board members. He talked a few minutes then headed outside to the deck. He does that when he wants privacy or just wants fresh air. I didn't mind. It gave me a chance to check blogs once last time before bed.

When he came in, the conversation was as follows:

"Who was that?"

"Bob."

"Oh, what did he want?"

"He wanted to talk to me about something."

"What?"

"Oh, it's something I had already been thinking about."

There was something weird about his voice and for a brief second I panicked thinking "Dear God, they found my blog."

So I asked:

"Can you tell me what it is?"

"Well, he thinks this is a bad time for us to go away. And I was thinking the same."

Now I understand he's got a major major project going on at work but these plans were made months ago and truthfully I can tell that Adam needs to get away. If he doesn't, he's going to crack. He needs the break so that he can come back and complete the project on time with a recharged battery.

Adam informed me that Bob even offered to send us away on a dream vacation later. Ummm... well that won't work considering I return to work the day after we are due to come home. Besides, there will ALWAYS be a big project going on.

So my reaction surprised me. I exploded. I couldn't help it. It hurt to think that after all these years that we can't even take one week ... ONE LOUSY WEEK to ourselves. I'm not a crier but I cried. It hurt that much.

What I wasn't hearing though was Adam telling me we were still going... that nothing mattered more and he wasn't going to let Bob's guilt trip sway him. All I heard was Adam saying it was something he's already thought about. We fought a little but when I started crying, I think he knew. And I told him "for you to even think about not going.... well, I don't even want to go now because I know where you're mind will be... on your dang project." And who am I kidding... his cell will ring nonstop anyhow.

So are we going? I don't know. At one point Adam said "I haven't decided.. I don't know what we're doing." Excuse me? For 6 months you've told me "just be in the car when it's time to go." And now a week before you don't know??

Well when ya figure it out, let me know.

There.

Rant done.

Now for the good part. He held me while I cried.. after we quit snapping at each other, that is. I fell asleep in his arms. About an hour later I woke in the middle of foreplay. I love it when that happens. We made love. There was some light playful spanking but nothing serious. And later as I went back to la la land he held me again and said "That just seemed like the right thing to do just now."

And it was.

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Much has transpired since I wrote this. The trip is on. Basically, Bob had no business... no say in this and we still don't know why he - a man who goes on 3 or 4 vacations a year would feel the need to make us feel guilty for our first trip alone since our honeymoon. And Adam knows two things.... he will always have some form of major project going on and if he doesn't get away soon, he's about to crack and become useless.