Someone Needs Spanked . . .

And it ain't me this time.

I KNOW it's a holiday. And I KNEW the store would be busy but COME ON!!!

On the way there, my cell rang. It was Adam. He was just calling to say hi I love you miss you want you need you etc. Once we got past that he asked what I was doing.

"I'm on my way to Walmart."

"Oh no. It's going to be busy. Don't hurt anyone."

"Don't worry. I'm medicated."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

We wrapped up the conversation as I pulled into the parking lot. It honestly didn't look all that busy so I thought it might not be too bad.

Geeze, Louise.

The first person I wanted to spank was blocking the pet aisle with her cart. All I wanted was some stinkin' rawhide bones for the pup. I patiently waited three feet from her while she looked at Dog toys. TWO TIMES she looked right at me and NEVER once offered to move her cart. She was taking her half out of the middle. I ended up having to go ALL THE WAY down the next aisle and up from the other end.

As I approached this woman LOOKED AT ME AGAIN and left.

Someone needs to teach her some manners! And at that moment I would have been happy to do the job myself. I hear Walmart sells a pretty mean bathbrush.

The bones are chicken flavored. The pup loves them.

My kids want a bunny cake for Easter. Never mind that they are all in their twenties. They always had a bunny cake when they were small and have jokingly requested one this year. That's as good as a dare if you ask me.

The bunny cake requires some shoe string licorice and jelly beans which meant *GASP* the candy aisle. At Easter? Good grief.

There were buggies headed in both directions and they were bumper to bumper. I felt as though I was on an eight lane highway at rush hour. And wouldn't you know it? The licorice was on the opposite side.

I don't know about you but crossing an eight lane busy highway for a bag of licorice isn't my idea of a good time. And of course I had to stand there and wait while another customer looked over the stuff on MY SIDE of the highway. And when she moved on? The next person quickly parked their buggy right in front of the licorice. I tried to dodge in and grab it quick. Honest I did but she almost hit me. Mean, mean lady.

FINALLY I just reached in around and under her cart and was able to JUST barely reach it. All that for a whole entire bag of licorice when I only need a few tiny pieces to make whiskers out of!! Again, I'm thinking some manners need taught. Maybe I should have stopped off in the paint department for one of those stirrers that Grace speaks so highly of.

And the straw that broke the camels very sore back was when I headed down an aisle for something WAY at the other end and about the time I was half way there someone turned up the aisle from another direction. And then someone ELSE turned up the aisle and guess what? These two women parked their carts SIDE BY SIDE while they looked at each other's side of the highway.

I'm thinking "didn't they take driver's ed? don't they know that head on collisions are NOT a good thing?" I waited patiently until finally one of them moved. Of course it was the one in MY LANE so she had to go around me. As she and her middle school aged daughter passed by I heard her say "Some people are just rude. They need to go in the right direction."

She was referring to me. She was on the WRONG frickin' side and callin' ME rude?

Did you know that grocery store aisles are one way streets? Me neither. I thought if you stayed on the right side of the road - especially when traffic's heavy - that fatalities and other mishaps would be avoided. Apparently I was the rude one. NOT. I was patient with these people. Being medicated helps enormously.

It's just lucky for them that I stayed out of the bath and paint sections of the store today. Seriously.

Wishful Thinking

We canceled plans for the evening. It's crappy outside. Man and beast both need to stay in. And that's exactly what we're doing. Heck, I think I might even watch American Idol tonight. That would be a new experience.

It was nice to come home and decide together to just stay in by ourselves. I made a pot of chili. I make darn good chili. I'd stand it up against any Texan's recipe any day. Guaranteed, mine's more than likely better. It's taken years and years to perfect.

Anyhow, as I browned the meat, Adam leaned against the counter and asked "So is it true?"


"Is what true?" I wanted to know.

"Your blog."

Oh.

That.

I laughed and said "No.... not really. I just hate winter."

I drove through a white out this morning for over 20 miles. I couldn't see the road because it was covered completely with snow. There weren't even any tire tracks. And the snow was coming down so fast and hard that it was near impossible to see. And yet, I forged ahead at about 25-30 miles per hour.

The drive home was better except for all those drifts on the road. Believe me there were plenty and some were pretty bad. You know what I mean... when the wind blows across an open area and the snow all lands on the road. Some of these drifts are pretty long... a half mile or more in some cases.

How about a snow day? Not around here. We just muddle through. I think our last one was two - maybe three - years ago.

And yet, I hope. I don't know anymore what it would take. We're even allowed a few without having to make them up. WHAT are they waiting for? I guess more kids need to get killed trying to drive in this crap.

Tomorrow?

Anything's possible.

I wonder if I could convince Adam to take the day off if I were to get a snow day?

Can't you just see it? We could stay in bed all day. Or we could play with the pup. Adam would spank me with the crop of course but I wouldn't mind the belt too. And he always uses his hand. And hey, we have a red flogger that hasn't been used in a while. Heck I wouldn't even mind wood if I got a day off work. Why not? I'll get the wooden spoons out myself... IF IF IF I ever get a snow day AND Adam stays home with me. The chance of both those events taking place is about the same as Elis actually talking to Nick. We all know THAT'S not going to happen!

But after Adam is done spanking me maybe we could get the Hitachi out and have some fun. Actually I should say OF COURSE we would have some fun... the maybe is for the Hitachi part. We always have fun after a spanking... well almost always. We just don't always get the Hitachi out. You knew what I meant, right?

Anyhow, I think I'm feeling better than I was last night when I decided to whine to you.

But wait.

This is just wishful thinking.

And oh, how I do wish.....

Think Snow...

No.

Wait.

Think ENOUGH snow. I'm just not sure how much that might be. We've had over forty inches this season and not once has any amount been enough.

Just for the Moment

If someone told you that in order to keep your job you would need to shell out thousands of dollars for a degree that you really don't want, what would you do? If you were only qualified to do ONE thing that paid over and above minimum wage, would you shell out the money? Would you go for the degree that you don't want? Just to keep your job?

I have been saying it this way: "I'm spending money that I don't have for a degree that I don't want."

Apparently I need it though.

Why? Why would I do this?

Because....

I love my job.

I need my job.

I need the benefits my job provides.

It just torques me that five years from now, I will no longer be qualified to do the job I will have done for 13 years by then. Excuse me? What's wrong with this picture?

I'm okay with continuing my education but to be forced to get this degree?

And besides, it's not just the money. It's the time. Have you noticed I haven't been able to post quite as often since the holiday season ended? Well this is why. Eva has gone back to school. Grad school. Big whoop-dee-doo.

On the up side I am gaining a lot already. I just don't WANT to. I'd rather whine. I'd rather hear you all say "ohhhhh... poor Eva... how dare they take time away from your blog."

You know what I think? I think that one of those stress buster spankings you all talk about would be PERFECT right about now.

How cool would it be for Adam to come to me right now, take me by the hand and pull me up from this chair?

And how cool would it be for him to yank my pants down? And take the crop to my backside?

And how wonderful might it be for him to spank and spank until I can hardly stand another stroke?

And then.....

And then....

Well you know what comes with a spanking.... Yowza.

Forget school.

Forget knowledge.

Forget my job.

Just for the moment... just for the moment let it be me and my very best friend... my husband.. my lover.... my spanker.

Ah, but................

Adam isn't home tonight.

Crap.

Any Volunteers?

Okay. Admittedly I did not mean it when I said I was blog striking until Adam spanked me. I mean come on, that might be a while. And I would miss you all. Besides, until then I certainly need to vent and where better than here on your shoulders.

Kidding. Venting isn't necessary but it's true. It has been a while. A loooong while. That's okay though. I can contentedly live vicariously. Not a problem.

How about all of you? Are you as glad as I am that the holidays are over? I love my kids with all my heart however it's tiring. I've gotten used to only looking out for Adam and myself. When they are home, their friends come over. Their friend's friends stop by. And me? I think everyone has to overeat. After all, it IS the holiday season. I feed them all.

It was fun. Lots of fun. But now I'm kind of glad to be back to my routine. Spring break will be nice. No one will be here. I'll have that whole week to blog. Can you believe I'm already counting down the days?

I do really like that third picture in my previous post. It would make a great avatar, if you ask me. Okay, so you didn't ask me. Still.....I think someone out there should use it.

This is small talk. Maybe I should quit beating around the bush here and just get to the point. Ya think? Okay...

Here goes....

ADAM~ Can you hear me? Geeze... I'm waiting... My readers are waiting. We're tired of the small talk of this post. Spank me or I'm gonna find someone who will.

Nah, I'm just kidding...

We still have a child home for the holidays. She's here till MLK day. I'm fairly certain though that we'll take care of business the minute she leaves. No wait. It will probably be that time of the month. After that, I'm sure.

Geeze.

I give up.