Someone Needs Spanked . . .

And it ain't me this time.

I KNOW it's a holiday. And I KNEW the store would be busy but COME ON!!!

On the way there, my cell rang. It was Adam. He was just calling to say hi I love you miss you want you need you etc. Once we got past that he asked what I was doing.

"I'm on my way to Walmart."

"Oh no. It's going to be busy. Don't hurt anyone."

"Don't worry. I'm medicated."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

We wrapped up the conversation as I pulled into the parking lot. It honestly didn't look all that busy so I thought it might not be too bad.

Geeze, Louise.

The first person I wanted to spank was blocking the pet aisle with her cart. All I wanted was some stinkin' rawhide bones for the pup. I patiently waited three feet from her while she looked at Dog toys. TWO TIMES she looked right at me and NEVER once offered to move her cart. She was taking her half out of the middle. I ended up having to go ALL THE WAY down the next aisle and up from the other end.

As I approached this woman LOOKED AT ME AGAIN and left.

Someone needs to teach her some manners! And at that moment I would have been happy to do the job myself. I hear Walmart sells a pretty mean bathbrush.

The bones are chicken flavored. The pup loves them.

My kids want a bunny cake for Easter. Never mind that they are all in their twenties. They always had a bunny cake when they were small and have jokingly requested one this year. That's as good as a dare if you ask me.

The bunny cake requires some shoe string licorice and jelly beans which meant *GASP* the candy aisle. At Easter? Good grief.

There were buggies headed in both directions and they were bumper to bumper. I felt as though I was on an eight lane highway at rush hour. And wouldn't you know it? The licorice was on the opposite side.

I don't know about you but crossing an eight lane busy highway for a bag of licorice isn't my idea of a good time. And of course I had to stand there and wait while another customer looked over the stuff on MY SIDE of the highway. And when she moved on? The next person quickly parked their buggy right in front of the licorice. I tried to dodge in and grab it quick. Honest I did but she almost hit me. Mean, mean lady.

FINALLY I just reached in around and under her cart and was able to JUST barely reach it. All that for a whole entire bag of licorice when I only need a few tiny pieces to make whiskers out of!! Again, I'm thinking some manners need taught. Maybe I should have stopped off in the paint department for one of those stirrers that Grace speaks so highly of.

And the straw that broke the camels very sore back was when I headed down an aisle for something WAY at the other end and about the time I was half way there someone turned up the aisle from another direction. And then someone ELSE turned up the aisle and guess what? These two women parked their carts SIDE BY SIDE while they looked at each other's side of the highway.

I'm thinking "didn't they take driver's ed? don't they know that head on collisions are NOT a good thing?" I waited patiently until finally one of them moved. Of course it was the one in MY LANE so she had to go around me. As she and her middle school aged daughter passed by I heard her say "Some people are just rude. They need to go in the right direction."

She was referring to me. She was on the WRONG frickin' side and callin' ME rude?

Did you know that grocery store aisles are one way streets? Me neither. I thought if you stayed on the right side of the road - especially when traffic's heavy - that fatalities and other mishaps would be avoided. Apparently I was the rude one. NOT. I was patient with these people. Being medicated helps enormously.

It's just lucky for them that I stayed out of the bath and paint sections of the store today. Seriously.

SSA (Serious Spew Alert)

Don't say I didn't warn you. You MUST - I repeat MUST - place all beverages aside. A filter type mask might not be a bad idea either. Trust me. It's for your own good.

It's 11:25 Monday morning. February 5, 2007. I've had a great time already today and it's not even noon yet. Indulge me. Let me tell you allllllllll about it. And you WILL laugh. I promise.

It all started out yesterday at about 6:30 PM. It's so blasted cold here that schools shut down like crazy. Word came on mine about 6:30. Snow days are GREAT. Already knowing the night before is even better.

Adam had to work though. Sucks to be him. I begged him to stay home with me but he couldn't. I understand.

It was me and the pup.

I had the house cleaned up by 8 a.m. and figured I would do the responsible thing. I got busy on a project that is due Wednesday night. Typically I'd wait until after work on Wednesday to even begin. This was nice. I got it out of the way over two days early. I'm quite pleased with my accomplishment.

When I finished I made some soup. I was getting kind of hungry and did I mention that it's soooo blasted cold here?

Anyhow, so there I was eating a bowl of soup and playing a game online.

The pup? He was ripping around the house chasing the cat. He was flying up and and down the steps having a ball.

Finally as I finished my soup and started another game I heard the pup lay down behind me. I could tell by the sound that he was chewing on his bone. I turned to look.

The pup was NOT chewing on a bone. Oh no.... not my pup...

What I want to know... what I really WANT to know is how in the world a tiny little 5 pound pup carried it down the steps from the 2nd floor in his mouth.

Geeze.

It's time to spew. Scroll down and take a look.

Wishful Thinking

We canceled plans for the evening. It's crappy outside. Man and beast both need to stay in. And that's exactly what we're doing. Heck, I think I might even watch American Idol tonight. That would be a new experience.

It was nice to come home and decide together to just stay in by ourselves. I made a pot of chili. I make darn good chili. I'd stand it up against any Texan's recipe any day. Guaranteed, mine's more than likely better. It's taken years and years to perfect.

Anyhow, as I browned the meat, Adam leaned against the counter and asked "So is it true?"


"Is what true?" I wanted to know.

"Your blog."

Oh.

That.

I laughed and said "No.... not really. I just hate winter."

I drove through a white out this morning for over 20 miles. I couldn't see the road because it was covered completely with snow. There weren't even any tire tracks. And the snow was coming down so fast and hard that it was near impossible to see. And yet, I forged ahead at about 25-30 miles per hour.

The drive home was better except for all those drifts on the road. Believe me there were plenty and some were pretty bad. You know what I mean... when the wind blows across an open area and the snow all lands on the road. Some of these drifts are pretty long... a half mile or more in some cases.

How about a snow day? Not around here. We just muddle through. I think our last one was two - maybe three - years ago.

And yet, I hope. I don't know anymore what it would take. We're even allowed a few without having to make them up. WHAT are they waiting for? I guess more kids need to get killed trying to drive in this crap.

Tomorrow?

Anything's possible.

I wonder if I could convince Adam to take the day off if I were to get a snow day?

Can't you just see it? We could stay in bed all day. Or we could play with the pup. Adam would spank me with the crop of course but I wouldn't mind the belt too. And he always uses his hand. And hey, we have a red flogger that hasn't been used in a while. Heck I wouldn't even mind wood if I got a day off work. Why not? I'll get the wooden spoons out myself... IF IF IF I ever get a snow day AND Adam stays home with me. The chance of both those events taking place is about the same as Elis actually talking to Nick. We all know THAT'S not going to happen!

But after Adam is done spanking me maybe we could get the Hitachi out and have some fun. Actually I should say OF COURSE we would have some fun... the maybe is for the Hitachi part. We always have fun after a spanking... well almost always. We just don't always get the Hitachi out. You knew what I meant, right?

Anyhow, I think I'm feeling better than I was last night when I decided to whine to you.

But wait.

This is just wishful thinking.

And oh, how I do wish.....

Think Snow...

No.

Wait.

Think ENOUGH snow. I'm just not sure how much that might be. We've had over forty inches this season and not once has any amount been enough.

A Rambling Spankee

~~God bless Blogrolling~~
My hearts are beating once again!!

And how many beats does YOUR heart skip when you look at the collection above? No, they aren't mine. I'm not even sure if I would WANT them to be mine. If you've been reading along here for any length of time then you might have come to realize that I don't like wood much.

It's not that it hurts. I mean I dunno about you but when Adam decides to spank me I KNOW it's going to hurt. I WANT it to hurt. That's the whole point, isn't it? I think maybe it's because wood is just so not prone to any give. There's the smack and the sting and that's it.

Leather on the other hand... ahhhh... Leather. I love the feel of leather making contact and the feel of the follow through when it forms itself to me for a brief second only to have it happen over and over again in different places on my bottom.

And of course the crop is nice. It's my favorite actually. And you know, super glue really is amazing stuff. Remember when the little flappy thing flew off and Theresa spewed diet coke and Ceeci wrote a limerick? The glue has held ever since. Gee, I love my crop.

Cassie... now Cassie is the one with the crop. She's not shared much about it but Tom gave her one for her birthday. Honey colored, she said. I WANT a honey colored crop. I NEED a honey colored crop. I've just got to HAVE a honey colored crop.

Okay so I'll get over it if I don't get one but I'll bet it's a wonderful thing.

And I've still never been spanked with a hair brush. I'm not sure I would want to be either. It's too woody. (stop that.. you KNOW what I mean) No give. I like things that give. I'm a wimp I suppose. That's okay. We have a blast when Adam starts swinging.

Hehehehehehehe.....

Life's good. My only complaint really is that we've just been too tired to play. It's another busy busy busy did I say busy time for Adam. He's putting in long hours but that will end soon.

Yeah!!!! Yipppeeeeee!!! Applause, applause!!!!

BUT....

About the time that ends, our kids will be home for the holidays....

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

***SIGH***

January's coming and by then I just might be in the mood for some wood.

Hehehehehehe....

snicker snicker giggle giggle....

Okay, I suppose I've amused myself enough for this post.

Thanks for stopping by!!!