Someone Needs Spanked . . .

And it ain't me this time.

I KNOW it's a holiday. And I KNEW the store would be busy but COME ON!!!

On the way there, my cell rang. It was Adam. He was just calling to say hi I love you miss you want you need you etc. Once we got past that he asked what I was doing.

"I'm on my way to Walmart."

"Oh no. It's going to be busy. Don't hurt anyone."

"Don't worry. I'm medicated."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

We wrapped up the conversation as I pulled into the parking lot. It honestly didn't look all that busy so I thought it might not be too bad.

Geeze, Louise.

The first person I wanted to spank was blocking the pet aisle with her cart. All I wanted was some stinkin' rawhide bones for the pup. I patiently waited three feet from her while she looked at Dog toys. TWO TIMES she looked right at me and NEVER once offered to move her cart. She was taking her half out of the middle. I ended up having to go ALL THE WAY down the next aisle and up from the other end.

As I approached this woman LOOKED AT ME AGAIN and left.

Someone needs to teach her some manners! And at that moment I would have been happy to do the job myself. I hear Walmart sells a pretty mean bathbrush.

The bones are chicken flavored. The pup loves them.

My kids want a bunny cake for Easter. Never mind that they are all in their twenties. They always had a bunny cake when they were small and have jokingly requested one this year. That's as good as a dare if you ask me.

The bunny cake requires some shoe string licorice and jelly beans which meant *GASP* the candy aisle. At Easter? Good grief.

There were buggies headed in both directions and they were bumper to bumper. I felt as though I was on an eight lane highway at rush hour. And wouldn't you know it? The licorice was on the opposite side.

I don't know about you but crossing an eight lane busy highway for a bag of licorice isn't my idea of a good time. And of course I had to stand there and wait while another customer looked over the stuff on MY SIDE of the highway. And when she moved on? The next person quickly parked their buggy right in front of the licorice. I tried to dodge in and grab it quick. Honest I did but she almost hit me. Mean, mean lady.

FINALLY I just reached in around and under her cart and was able to JUST barely reach it. All that for a whole entire bag of licorice when I only need a few tiny pieces to make whiskers out of!! Again, I'm thinking some manners need taught. Maybe I should have stopped off in the paint department for one of those stirrers that Grace speaks so highly of.

And the straw that broke the camels very sore back was when I headed down an aisle for something WAY at the other end and about the time I was half way there someone turned up the aisle from another direction. And then someone ELSE turned up the aisle and guess what? These two women parked their carts SIDE BY SIDE while they looked at each other's side of the highway.

I'm thinking "didn't they take driver's ed? don't they know that head on collisions are NOT a good thing?" I waited patiently until finally one of them moved. Of course it was the one in MY LANE so she had to go around me. As she and her middle school aged daughter passed by I heard her say "Some people are just rude. They need to go in the right direction."

She was referring to me. She was on the WRONG frickin' side and callin' ME rude?

Did you know that grocery store aisles are one way streets? Me neither. I thought if you stayed on the right side of the road - especially when traffic's heavy - that fatalities and other mishaps would be avoided. Apparently I was the rude one. NOT. I was patient with these people. Being medicated helps enormously.

It's just lucky for them that I stayed out of the bath and paint sections of the store today. Seriously.

Just for the Moment

If someone told you that in order to keep your job you would need to shell out thousands of dollars for a degree that you really don't want, what would you do? If you were only qualified to do ONE thing that paid over and above minimum wage, would you shell out the money? Would you go for the degree that you don't want? Just to keep your job?

I have been saying it this way: "I'm spending money that I don't have for a degree that I don't want."

Apparently I need it though.

Why? Why would I do this?

Because....

I love my job.

I need my job.

I need the benefits my job provides.

It just torques me that five years from now, I will no longer be qualified to do the job I will have done for 13 years by then. Excuse me? What's wrong with this picture?

I'm okay with continuing my education but to be forced to get this degree?

And besides, it's not just the money. It's the time. Have you noticed I haven't been able to post quite as often since the holiday season ended? Well this is why. Eva has gone back to school. Grad school. Big whoop-dee-doo.

On the up side I am gaining a lot already. I just don't WANT to. I'd rather whine. I'd rather hear you all say "ohhhhh... poor Eva... how dare they take time away from your blog."

You know what I think? I think that one of those stress buster spankings you all talk about would be PERFECT right about now.

How cool would it be for Adam to come to me right now, take me by the hand and pull me up from this chair?

And how cool would it be for him to yank my pants down? And take the crop to my backside?

And how wonderful might it be for him to spank and spank until I can hardly stand another stroke?

And then.....

And then....

Well you know what comes with a spanking.... Yowza.

Forget school.

Forget knowledge.

Forget my job.

Just for the moment... just for the moment let it be me and my very best friend... my husband.. my lover.... my spanker.

Ah, but................

Adam isn't home tonight.

Crap.

The Night Before We Left

I couldn't help it.

There were many last minute details and things to take care of. It - feeling overwhelmed - was enough to make anyone cranky. I thought I had remembered everything. I had things piled by the door ready to load into the car.

But the stress.... did I remember my meds? Where was the money? The Credit cards?

And then there was the stress of making sure all electrical things were turned off.... the cats had to be cared for... the mail....

Stress. I guess this sort is necessary in order to achieve the relaxation desired.

And you know, Adam is getting better and better at this lifestyle. He decided the night before we left that I was entirely too cranky for his taste. He said something about needing to start the vacation off right.

Shortly after his decision he was sound asleep. And I was at the computer sitting on a pillow.

It amazes me how far he's come. When I first made it known to him that I wanted/needed this lifestyle he was rather.... well... wimpy about it.

Don't get me wrong. I do appreciate the fact that he didn't want to hurt me but really I knew it was supposed to hurt. I WANTED it to hurt. And in time he has come to see that.

And you know what else? He's starting to see that it's within his power to adjust my mood with a few... or many... good hard swings of nearly anything. And it amazed me as I sat there that night before we left tying up loose ends on the computer just how much my mood had changed.

The best part is knowing that he sees it now. He knows that bad, cranky mood swings can easily be dealt with. He is able to tell now when I need spanked and that is so awesome. He even sees it sometimes before I get that "please spank me" feeling.

So I'm rambling but my point here is that before the vacation even started he had me over his knee.... right where I belong and long to be.

More tomorrow!!!