I Really am Alive

Has it really been nearly 3 months since I've posted? Wow.

I still feel like I have nothing to say. Life's okay. The grand baby is thriving. Crawling like crazy. Won't be long till she's walking.

I'll be honest. I'm fighting some battles in my relationship with Adam. I can't quite put my finger on it and have been trying to sort it out for quite sometime.

Every since my gastric bypass things have been different between us. He had his illness to deal with but I don't think that's it.

His job runs him ragged and I think that's part of it. For instance today I was talking to him for just a quick minute but got interrupted by a woman who obviously felt it was more important to talk to him than to let him and I talk for a minute. I do get sick of that from people.

Hormones? What are those? I still feel nothing and don't tell me to talk to my doctor. The best I can describe it would be to say something like "gee doc.. I don't feel like skydiving.." Or "I don't feel like riding a motorcycle" or "I don't feel like laying across the railroad tracks." I mean really .... who says that stuff to their doctor? Why would I? The point is I just can't make myself care.

I think part of it is cuz I've just given up. It's not all Adam's fault but it's not all mine either. It just is what it is. He's a busy busy man and no matter how much he tells me I matter more than his job, I don't really believe him. There's always going to be someone who needs him... there's always going to be voicemails to listen to, phone calls to return, things to pick up, drop off, emails to answer.

Just this morning after being interrupted the woman who interrupted stood and glared at me when he and I talked. I even walked away for a few minutes so she could talk to him and returned when she was done. The way she glared at me was ridiculous and not my imagination.

Oh well... like I said, it is what it is.

Sometimes though I feel like I'm just a bitch. There's another issue in our world... someone we know lies to us every time he opens his mouth. We know he's lying. He knows he's lying. It's a plagiarism situation which makes me sick. It's ruined his credibility in my mind. I don't believe anything the man has to say and what's sickening is that he is in a position where I should be able to depend on his honestly and integrity but yet he has none. Imagine if you found out someone in a highly public position was lying to you.. I'm not talking about a politician either. Hell, we all know they are a bunch of liars. No this is worse.. imaging it to be your doctor... or lawyer... or teacher... or preacher... or next door neighbor.... or grocer... or grave digger... someone who should be 100% trustworthy.

It makes me sick. Really really sick.

Sigh.

And what's worse, not only is this person's credibility shot to hell, so is that of those who SHOULD be stepping up to the plate and bringing to a halt because guess what they've done? NOTHING. Oh sure, they claim they are doing something, yet the lies.... they continue bigger and better on a continual basis.

Geeze.

I'm sorry. Didn't mean to get on here and bitch after being gone so long but sometimes a girl just needs to let it out.

Hope things are wonderful in your world. And really, they are good here. The baby is amazing. My job is going well. I just wish things weren't so blah with Adam but really, as long as I keep feeling as though I am second and that he will support everyone and everything else FIRST before me, I have a feeling this is the way it's going to stay. I mean really... would you want someone touching you when all you can think about is that they are only there until something better comes along. I mean really. Would you?

Okay... I'll crawl back under my rock now.

I'm Alive

I got nothing exciting in the way of spanking... but I am currently sitting at a table with two of the best looking women in the world!!!

Wish you were here...... really.

So.....

....here I am again.

In the past six months I've spent most of my time watching my grandbaby grow and wondering why the heck PK won't give me my libido back. LOL

Seriously after my gastric bypass surgery it vanished. And So did Adam's. He's now using some kind of testosterone cream. His doc gave it to him to help boost his energy... not necessarily sexual energy but just energy in general.

We spent a week in a secluded cabin on one of the Great Lakes a couple weeks ago. It was amazing!! The temps were in the mid 80's. I got lots of sun. I read the first two books (finally) in the Harry Potter series. Quite good. I'm half way through book 3 now but that is moving slowly.

Anyhow, while we were there we did actually manage to find our libidos a couple times. But spanking? I'm not sure what's going on there. Years and years ago I was so very interested in it then the interest vanished. When I first came on the blogging scene my interest had returned. And now? It's gone again.

So tell me... surely someone out there knows just what I'm talking about. How do you get it back? Do I just need to wait for it to return? I've been waiting!!! Will it eventually come back on its own? Or is there something I need to do to make it return?

What's some good sites out here to read? Maybe that's the key??

Who knows and honestly the biggest problem I think I have is that I just don't care.

Sigh..................

Barbie Is Fifty

Okay call me sick but I think this is the funniest picture I've ever seen. It's the most honest, real depiction of Barbie that I've ever seen

If you wanna tell me how sick I am you'll have to wait till I quit laughing.

Someone is Gittin' Older

Happy Birthday Grace!!!

You're the best!!

I love you!!!

Peeps and a BSOD

Did you know they make sugar free peeps?

I was so excited. I LOVE love love peeps. I just had to get some. I bought two packs of three. They only came in yellow but I didn't care.

I was barely in the door when I tore into them. There are so many sugar free items out there where - honest - they taste as good to me as the high sugar version.

I wish I could tell you all that this is the case here but .....

but....

blech.

Don't waste your hard earned money. They are pretty nasty.

And how about this stupid Confucker Conficker worm?

I was driving home from work yesterday listening to the radio. I always listen to the radio in the car. It's too long of a drive to be alone in my own thoughts... the radio is on unless I'm talking to Adam or PK or someone on the phone.

Anyhow, I'm driving along listening to a VERY reputable talk show. The computer expert on there said we should all go to http://update.microsoft.com (no www in that address) and let the microsoft site scan our computers just to make sure we have all the updates. IF we have the updates then we're fine and well protected against this stupid confucker conficker thing.

I wasn't real concerned though because I never turn down a microsoft update, ever the trusting one that I am. BUT this dude said something that made me think it might not be a bad idea to do as he was suggesting.

He said that there's different versions of confucker conficker. There's A, B, and C. None are believed to be computer crashers however they can be annoying like little gnats. He said that IF a machine had been contaminated by confucker conficker A or B that it could disable the computers antivirus software AND the ability to automatically install these microsoft updates. If this was the case then the computer also would not even be able to get to the microsoft update site.

Anywho...... since I am a textbook case of walking, talking, living, breathing A.D.D. at its finest, I couldn't remember the last time I noticed one of these updates happening. I just know that they have. But what if? Maybe I had A .. or B.. and just didn't know it.

Just to be on the safe side I came home and went straight to the site Mr. Computer Dude recommended. I ran the scan. Everything on my desktop PC checked out fine. My laptop however received some recommendations. I - being the ever trusting soul, remember - clicked "install."

Damn, damn, damn.

Next thing I know my precious laptop would NOT boot. It wasn't quite the BSOD (blue screen of death) but it was equally obnoxious. It was the screen that said "installing 3 of 3 - do NOT power down your computer."

Then it would power down and restart.. only to go back to the same freakin' screen ...

over

and over

and over.

Now this wouldn't have been so bad but on Friday we're taking one of our infamous road trips. If it hadn't been for that, I would just take it to a guru and leave it for the duration... for as long as it took to fix but....

Eva does NOT travel without the laptop!!!!

Long story short, I fixed it.

This morning... before work... I found an article on line telling me to do a system restore to a point prior to the mishap. Then once control of the machine was gained, I was to do a quick patch install. I emailed all links and stuff that I'd need to myself from the desktop.

There I sat tapping F8 until it finally gave me the screen that allows a restore and to my horror my only option was to restore to yesterday to the service pack where the trouble started.

Why, oh why would I want to restore it to that?

Fortunately it worked. Obviously it restores to the point PRIOR to that. I got the patch installed and all's well.

Windows version? Vista of course. I never minded it till this. Apparently it and service packs aren't always BFF.

So anyhow, Adam and I are taking a road trip. So are PK and Nick. Coincidence? Yeah, right! LOL

And guess what? Mthc and David are the first stop of the tour!! The cherry blossoms of our country's capital are the next. There's a few business stops for Adam along the way but for sure, those are NOT the highlight of the trip. Meeting Mthc and David and being with PK and Nick again is number one in my book. Well... after some time alone with Adam, that is. And we'll get plenty. I hope.

We leave Friday. We'll be home next Wednesday. Fortunately the laptop is A-OK for the trip.

I just love Spring Break.

Hope you all are doing GREAT!!!

Top O' the Morning to Ya ... or Something like that...

Hey Everyone!! In honor of Saint Patrick's Day I've got some amusement to share with you.

Since going private with this blog, there have been a few who have written and wanted in. I've let a few in once I've gotten to know them.

It's nice because I'm developing some new friendships with a few of you.

Anyhow, recently I received an email with a story in it that had me cracking up so bad that I asked the writer if I could post it. Once granted permission, I figured I would wait till today - St. Pat's Day - to humor you with it!!

If the author wants to come forward and identify herself, please do!!! I know the people who are actually bothering to read here will enjoy this email excerpt as much as I did!!

Anyhow, enjoy!!

We're heading to the St. Pats Parade. Actually we go to market square where all the bars and the stage is located. The bands are always great. The people are happy - oh I wonder why?!

Last year I had this hilarious run in with a cop because I encouraged this girl to urinate in her cup then pour it out a window into an alley. She was 30 people back from the head of the 1 freakin toilet. It was a fire hazard for sure.

She's literally panicking and I brilliantly tell her to drink the rest of the beer then pee in the cup. The dip stick actually listens to me (big mistake) then .... Get this she pours it out of the window and guess who's standing under it? The fearless City Police.

So the cockiest (and incidentally cutest of them) comes flying up these stairs (Its an old building from the 1800's about 3 stories) like he wants to have his gun drawn. He starts in with a bellowing "Which one of you standing in line threw your pee out the window?!!"

And he's staring everybody down and he starts in again. So the 3rd time I hear this ranting obviously rhetorical question (cuz no body' s about to answer him) I pipe up (always the instigator and daughter & step daughter of a cop - we're worse than teacher's kids btw (!) ) "So what makes you think (I had been drinking after all) that who ever peed would still be standing in this line? Wouldn't they go back outside to have some fun?"

Now cops aren't known for logic and he had made himself the audience of about 50 women on this huge flight of stairs winding up 3 floors. So as he whips his head around to stare me down & I'm not about to flinch because I started this WHOLE thing after all, This girl starts to giggle behind him.

He realizes his only tactic of intimidation is her, cause I'm staring him down and I've got this great rack so he's a little confused. The giggler was not in it for the long haul and she starts to wither under his threats of "Do you want me to take you to jail?"

And I say (really dumb - my guardian angel at this point is rolling his eyes) "There's a law against giggling?" He knows he's outmatched and in a frustrated visual search looks at the stairs and sees spilled beer ( but thinks it is pee). So he nonchalantly walks to the window, slams it down and says "I'll just leave you girls to stand in your pee."

I waited til he was almost to the door and yelled "By the way it was beer on the stairs - we've got some to spare". The whole stair case burst out laughing. But funny part was when all of us were trying to be quiet while he walked down the narrow stair case glaring at all of us like he was some school teacher. So hopefully I'll stay out of (indirect trouble this year!)

CeeCi ~ Admit it. You're laughing as hard as I was, aren't you?