I Am Not ....

.......One to name names but there is a certain blogger out here who will remain nameless.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I just might have to tell you who it is.

Then again, that wouldn't be nice, would it?

So Okay. I won't name her but you will not believe the incredible s#$% she's been pulling on PK and myself.

We've been getting text messages....

.... with pictures of herself in scenes....

Like THIS:



And THIS:





Playing with toys like this:




I look at these pictures and all I can think is that ..... SOMEONE (who is still nameless) NEEDS SPANKED.

HARD!!!!


See, while this nameless person is having fun in the sun, I have the reality of looking around and seeing things like this.....




And this....




And do you wanna know what I think of all that????



And I think THIS following pic is more accurate than it is funny!!!!!



Happy 2009 everyone!! At least we get the WORST season of the year out of the way FIRST.

PK's Coming Soon

So you've probably heard... My twin is coming for New Year's!!! I'm so excited.

They are en route as I type and should be here within a couple hours.

In the meantime I'm bored. I'm all ready for them so why aren't they here yet??

Let's see... I have dinner on. I baked cinnamon rolls for breakfast tomorrow. I baked 2 pies. The sheets and towels are all washed and dried. Their bed is made. The dog went for a spa day this morning so he looks gooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgeous. He smells good too. There is food, food, food all over the house.

Tomorrow night we'll be pigging out like crazy. I have sausage balls made. I'm making all kinds of appetizer type stuff. Kraut and Kielbasa. Chicken. Shrimp. Chips and dip. Cookies. Cheese and crackers. Food. Food. Food.

I love the holidays but having my twin and her family here is making New Year's more exciting than usually especially since offspring number one had to go back this year and couldn't stay all the way through.

Number two is moving right along with her pregnancy. It's hard to believe but she's due 3 weeks from today. Yup. It's a girl. And yup, they have given her a name. I'll just call her Baby C here. I can't wait to hold her. Somehow, it seems like she will make the problems of the world go away.

So that Grace... she's a mean one. She sent me a text the other day with a picture... of warm weather!!! I mean come on!!! That's just evil, evil, evil. But yeah, it was pretty.

My weight is staying off. Go me!!!! Size six still feels amazing. Fantastic. Unbelievable. I hold up a pair of jeans and think "no way." But then they slide right on with room to spare. Amazing!!!

So I just checked the driveway. PK's not here yet. If you see her, tell her to get a move on!!!

Christmas was a blast. I love having the kids here. We were relaxed. Laughed a lot. played games. There's a new card game out... at least it's new to us. It's called Swap and we LOVE it. There's another electronic game out called A to Z. We love it too. In fact when OS #1 left she took it with her. How mean!!! Okay so never mind the fact that it's here game!!! But I want to play it while PK is here. We looked in every store around us. No luck. Found it on Amazon.com. It's on its way. Yup. I even paid to have it shipped so it would be here in time. Supposed to arrive today. I have the batteries here and waiting.

Supper is smelling wonderful: Italian beef, green beans with almonds, parsley potatoes, Italian bread, apple pie a la mode. Yummo. The kids are all coming to have dinner with PK, Nick, and Mollie. If A to Z gets here I'm gonna make them all play.

It's almost time to plug in all the Christmas lights and light the candles. I love candles. They are every where in my house at the holiday time. Let me count... there are 4 rooms on the first floor of our house and in them I have 40 candles. I won't light them all tonight but I will light all the big ones... just not the votives.

Hope all is well there. I'm gonna go brush my teeth and put on a warmer shirt. Would want PK and crew to smell bad breath or anything when they get here.

Christmas is Coming

Checking In

Hey Everyone!!

I thought I would check in. Life is moving on at a fairly rapid pace these days.

The holidays are upon us. That means a lot of things. For one, I get two weeks to stay home. For another, that means all the kids will be home for a few days. For yet another it means PK, Nick, and Mollie are coming to visit. And for yet JUST ONE MORE THING it means my granddaughter's arrival is just around the corner.

It's been a long week at work. I'll be glad when tomorrow gets here.

The doctor told my daughter yesterday that she believes she'll have the baby right on time if not a bit early. Do you even know how much I can barely stand waiting to hold this new little one?

I got a bit of a spanking last Saturday. Yeah, I know Twin. I didn't even tell you. I guess I just didn't feel like talking about it. Still don't but it was fun. Adam is able to manhandle me much easier these days. Guess when I weighed nearly 300 pounds it was harder to maneuver me. LOL

He can flip me over his knee fairly easily these days. I suppose it helps when I'm laughing so hard I can't do much to stop it. It was one of those make-your-side-hurt-like-hell laughs.

He's quite proud of what he can now do though.

Ummm... yeah, the sex wasn't half bad either.

Our times are rare these days though but it's okay. I mean if no one's in the mood, then no one's in the mood and it's okay. We're trying to progress a bit. Maybe after the holidays are over..... then again, once our baby gets here ... I mean do grandparents REALLY do these things?

There's a visual for you. Picture your grandparents having sex. Bad enough to try and picture your parents but the old people? The REALLY old ones?

Ewe.

Gross.

Did I mention that the kids are coming? And that PK is coming for New Year's? I can't wait.

Let's see... what else is new?

The pup turned 2 last month. Can you believe it? Seems like yesterday the little shit found the crop and brought it downstairs. Thank God we didn't have company. Can you imagine?

We don't keep it under the bed any more.

So anyhow, I just wanted to poke my head out of the cave I live in and say howdy. Hope you all are doing well and you have the best celebration of whatever it is you celebrate this season.

Skip the fruitcake, go for the rum cake.

Happy Birthday, PK

To My Twin….

Has it really been more than two years since we first met out here in this wonderful world of blogs?

Time has certainly flown past us, huh? And in two short years we have certainly created a lot of memories.

I remember the first time we met. How can I forget it? I was scarred to death. I just knew that when you saw the real me you’d run back to your car screaming “do NOT follow us!!!”

We dared to climb into your car and you dared to let us…

And the rest – as they say – is history.

That first visit truly was amazing. We were both afraid of having the curiosity satisfied and finding out that the friendship wasn’t what we’d hoped for after all.

Not to be.

We hit it off wonderfully. I mean come on… on our very first visit I tied knots in your flogger. Who else – but a true friend – does that? Who else would even know you own a flogger? And a crop? And a variety of other “tools of the trade?”

Let’s see, our second visit was when you came to help take care of me after my gastric bypass surgery. Much to all of our surprise I was getting around quite nicely and we ended up having a great time then too.

A few months later we were together yet again. This time we hiked through the mountains talking easily and moving freely. That was amazing for me because just a few months before at our first meeting I wasn’t physically able to do that.

And there was Williamsburg and LA since then. Oh, and the whirlwind trip last August to your poolside where we played Bocci and talked about Cornhole.

Ah, yes… my friend… the memories and wonderful moments abound. Not only will I carry them with me forever, I hope to create many more as the years go by.

So – with all that said – on this your birthday I don’t have much to give but I do have this to say… thank you for sticking by me these past two and a half years through the surgeries, the good times, the not so good times… all times.

You are a true friend and I wish you the happiest birthday yet.

So what are you waiting on…. Get your butt in the car and get here already!!!

Can’t wait to see you soon!!!!

I love you twin!!!

Kiss an Angel Good Morning

1. Put Your iTunes on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag 10 friends.
6. Anyone tagged has to do the same, because fun pointlessness spreads like a virus.

My answers:

If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say:
"Overflow," by Chris Tomlin.

[Yeah, THAT makes sense.]


How would you describe yourself?
"So Much More," by Casting Crowns.

[hmm... interesting.]


What do you like in a guy/girl?
"The Best of My Love," by The Eagles

[Hmmm... sounds kinda selfish and shallow, huh?]


How do you feel today?
"Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney

[Fitting]


What is your life’s purpose?
"Faithfully," by Journey.

[Yup.]


What is your motto?
"Can't Keep a Good Man (or woman) Down," by Newsong

[True, dat]


What do your friends think of you?
"Hot Stuff," by Donna Summers.

[ROFLMAO]



What do you think of your parents?
"Stop, Hey, What's that Sound," by Buffalo Springfield

[Are you kidding me? I suppose that's how I felt as a kid. They've been dead a lot of years.]


What do you think about very often?
"Smilin'," by Tim McGraw

[If that were only true.]



What do you think of your best friend?
"Spare an Angel," by Chris Rice

[hmmmmmm....... now THAT is interesting!!!]



What do you think of the person you like?
"Foolish Heart" by Steve Perry

[Oh my word. I kid you not. This was the song that played for this question. hahahahaha]



What is your Life Story?
"Conga" by LaKisha Jones

[Hmm...this makes me rather pathetic.]



What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Don't Look Back," by Boston

[Ok... sure. Is this some kind of subliminal message telling me to let the past go???]



What do you think of when you see the person you like?
"Set this Circus Down," by Tim McGraw

[Do what??]



What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Ask the Lonely," by Journey.

[Even though I'm married, I find this quite interesting.]



What will they play at your funeral?
"There's Gonna be a Heartache Tonight," by The Eagles

[ROFL Whatever]



What is your biggest fear?
"Here Comes the Sun," by the Beatles

[Yup, that's real scary.]



What is your biggest secret?
"Life in the Fast Lane," by The Eagles.

[yup, that's me. A real party animal.]



What do you think of your friends?
"Another One Bites the Dust," by Queen

[I swear. That's what played. ROFLMAO]


What will you post this as?
"Kiss an Angel Good Morning,"by Conway Twitty


As for tagging 10... if you read this, consider yourself tagged.

Meme

1. Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night? - I forget.

2. On which side of the bed do you sleep? - The right side.

3. Pork, beef, or chicken? – All three are good but Beef's probably my favorite.

4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke? – Only when I was pregnant.

5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on? - Both.

6. Candles or incense? - Candles for sure. Incense is usually too sweet and too strong. Makes me nauseous.

7. Do you dance when no one is watching? – Nope.

8. Did you play doctor when you were little? - Nope... played school a lot though.

9. Stove top cooking or microwave? – Stovetop.

10. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty? – Car and believe me, it' is.

11. Shower or bath? - Shower in the summer. Bath in the winter.

12. Do you pee in the shower? – Um, no.

13. Mexican or Chinese food? - Very tough call.

14. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? - Aggressive

15. Do you own sex toys? – Yes but they are all dusty

16. Corn dogs or hot dogs? - Corn dogs taste better however I don't do much of either since my gastric bypass.

17. Your favorite restaurant? – A small Italian place here in our hometown. They have the most awesome eggplant rollatini.

18. What did you have for lunch today? – I'm typing this at 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving day. We ate about 2:30 today... turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, beans, jello, pie. I had 3 or 4 bites of everything. Awesome meal. Awesome day.

19. When did you last fall down? – I'm not sure why but I took a few falls when I first lost my weight. That hasn't happened recently though.

20. Have you ever wished someone were dead? – Not really.

21. Love or money? - Love

22. Credit cards or cash? - Either

23. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn’t? – Oh yeah. I've got a relative or two that I could live without without.

24. Oreos or vanilla wafers? - Have you had the candy cane oreos that are out for the holidays? OMG they are amazing.

25. How do you like your steak cooked? – Medium well. No pink.

26. How do you like your eggs cooked? - Over hard.

27. Have you ever knocked someone off their feet in a fight? - No

28. Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel? – Another tough call. I love camping. We used to go all the time when our kids were little. Had a trailer parked at a campground and we would spend every weekend there. Loved it. Miss it.

29. Would you rather have a root canal or minor surgery? – Definitely surgery. Been there, done that enough to know it's not biggie. A root canal hower would scare me to death. Hate mouth pain.

30. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money? – How much money are we talking?

31. Would you rather have lice or an STD? – What kind of question is this? And STD would mean that someone in the house has cheated so there's NO way I'd want to deal with that. Lice can be gotten rid of...an affair doesn't go away.

32. What’s your favorite hard candy? – Sugar free Jolly Ranchers.

33. Ever been to a strip club? - Nope

34. Ever been to a bar? - Yes

35. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? - No

36. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere? - No

37. Kissed someone of the same sex? - Yes

38. Had sex in the car? - I'm probably one of the few people on the planet who hasn't but nope, no car sex.

39. Had sex at the beach? - No

40. Had sex in a movie theater? - No

41. Had sex in a bathroom? – Yes, in the shower.

42. Have you ever been in an “adult” store? – Many.

43. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with? – Nope. I'm happy with just Adam.

44. Have you been caught having sex? - I live in a small house. Raised 3 kids. Ummm..yeah we got caught a time or two.

45. Have you ever kissed a stranger? - No

46. Does anyone have naughty pictures of you? –Gosh, I don't think so.